I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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