I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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