Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
