how can u be prego again
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
