Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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