How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We have so much sex to catch up on
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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