Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
