hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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