I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He passed out mid-signature
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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