my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
