Whod you bang
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
