If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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