She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
