I hope mine doesn't look like that
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize