why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
