Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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