walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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