Soap is not a condiment
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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