i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize