Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
