youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
