My sheets look like a crime scene.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
