Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
