I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
