i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
