Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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