her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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