I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
