how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
