its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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