i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
