Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
