Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize