I seem to have left my pride at pride
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize