Buhtt sex?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
What a dumb baby whore.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
