so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
