Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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