So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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