we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
