you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
