He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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