just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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