i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
