i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
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