I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
