on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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