hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
