speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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