last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
