I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Someone shattered a urinal.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
