if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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