He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
