So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
