So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
