Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
