There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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