You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
