So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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