But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
