i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
