dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
