she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize