why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
My vagina just recognized that song.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
